Friday, 5 December 2014

So what are we fearful of?

Oh my goodness! The world is such a scary place.
There are monsters around every corner.
Oh no they are just in my mind. Am I going mad?
Why are we so scared of getting on with our lives? Why do we let every one of our actions be guided by what others may think?
I have an internal dialogue going on constantly when I forget who I am.
I am amazing.
And yet my experiences in child hood would refute that truth.
The conditioning we receive as children stands us in good stead for the rest of our lives.
That is not true.
We have the potential to rewrite our life scripts. We can become who we truly are.
The question is DARE WE TAKE THAT RISK?
If we are able to relax down into our bodies and feel the truly amazing things that go on within the body then we can get to know ourselves.
Whilst we stay in our minds and intellectualise everything we do, we will never know ourselves.
Our minds will not allow this to happen easily. Our mind will fight to keep control. It is an amazing piece of kit but it is not who we are.
Our bodies function in the NOW and by staying in our bodies we can also be NOW.
Our mind wants us to use future predictions to manage us. We can't do this because ......will happen.
If we stay in the now and our friends family are there as well then a truly honest transaction will occur.
It is what it is.
Of course I am completely in the now? No I am not however I aspire to be so. And by being conscious of that aspiration I can stay more present more often.
I have just returned from staffing the NWTA with the Mankind Project UK.
I attended my warrior training last year and found a fundamental shift in my way of being and so as a staff man I wanted to facilitate that for other men. WOW not only did I experience the growth in the men on training but also the process brought me gifts of growth.
There were 40 staff men on the weekend with varying degrees of experience and ages. Although this is not a therapeutic experience per se, it does bring up emotional stuff to work with.
I found the gathering of men so supportive and emotionally connecting. I felt cared for and challenged to be all of me.....authentic and aware. And over the course of the 4 days I found a deep sense of acceptance from the men and not only that but I found through this the capacity to accept myself.
I became aware that I like who I am and can be all of me and it's ok. In fact better than ok.
This is a massive shift for me. I feel more grounded and able to walk my space and feel very present.
I would recommend the Mankind Project to any man who feels disconnected with himself. The experience can be life changing.

Saturday, 11 October 2014

Mental Health

The subject of Mental Health is massive. We have thousands of our people walking the streets with varying degrees of need for help.
How as a society do we see people with a mental health issue?
I don't believe the stigma is as it was but it still holds fear for many people.
As a nation we loose many hours of working productivity to mental health issues.
We have many deaths due to mental health related issues; suicide, murder, abuse, rape, alcoholism. All addictions can have a basis in mental health.
It feels as if there is something preventing both the will to provide and meet the demand, and the necessary funding to provide the service.
I suppose in this capitalistic society we have at present.......each of us is supposed to meet our own needs.
For me this is outdated.
Our society is so divided between have and have nots.
The have can afford private therapy.
The have nots can only have what the NHS is able or chooses to provide.
We also do not need NICE to tell us what is good for us. One size of therapy does not fit all.
Why do we think this is OK?

I have a degree in Humanisitc Counselling and I have trained in voluntary placements as part of my qualifications. I have a very small private practice which doesn't provide me with sufficient income to meet my families needs which means that I also work as a professional gardener to provide the main financial support.
I want to have more clients and do more work in service to my community. I don't want to be rich, I want to earn enough to meet my families needs.
I would love to be part of a community of counsellors and allied therapists who want to serve the human not take from it.
I loved the speech to the UN by Emma Watson. True gender equality is a need not a luxury and possibly allied to this is the way to engage people in taking care of their mental health.
At present many men are reliant on their partners to tell them when they need help. We need both genders to meet each other in a wholly adult way. Support and cherish each other and truly hear each other.



Monday, 29 September 2014

Shifting an old blockage and recognising its previous usefulness.

    I work as a Professional horticulturist or Gardener to you and me. This summer has been a hard one in terms of work load. I have never been one to shirk work and always give the best of me and often too much of me.
    I have come to realise that , in the process of working hard, I loose myself in the doing and forget to connect to myself on a spiritual dimension. Forgetting to nurture myself and therefore , over time, depleting my spiritual batteries.
    And so what can happen is that I do. Not I am. And in that my family relationships suffer the loss of me.
I realise that this is the modern work life balance issue. Somehow out of awareness I have through financial necessity got lost in the doing work.
    I visited my Homeopath a couple of weeks ago to get a check up and see about getting back in balance and curiously after one of the remedies my body simply refused to move. I ached from head to toe and I had no inclination to move and spent 2 days in bed. On the third day I feel tired but the symptoms as much less and spiritually I feel much lifted. It feels as though an old pattern of behaviour has been moved or unblocked.
Almost as if my White Knight has taken his armour off and is in the process of retirement.

   Who am I trying to prove myself to?
  I know this is my personal journey but I do wonder how many other men are in the same sort of pattern. How can these patterns be brought into their awareness? Who is out there to show the way?

Thursday, 28 August 2014

Wild man talking: Out of our heads

Wild man talking: Out of our heads:     I have been Facebooking for while now and have drawn some interesting conclusions.....mine and not yours. But if you share them then say...

Out of our heads

    I have been Facebooking for while now and have drawn some interesting conclusions.....mine and not yours. But if you share them then say so.
  When I read some political or financial postings, there is usually postings about the rights and wrongs of what is stated. Sometimes quite powerful positions are taken.  And yet when something spiritual is posted there may be the odd comment or two.
     It feels to me that when issues arise that focus the mind and present logical or illogical argument  then that is when the human and it seems mainly men become animated and enthused.
    I feel that this is a great place to air our views and could be a great place for a groundswell of opposition to what we feel are injustices. Where does the energy of opposition go? Simply exorcised in the written word? Is that enough or an avoidance? A safe place to speak yet not act.
  Yet for me facebook seems a very heady place. Heart and soul work seems to have little place in  this medium.
   Where do we express our inner world? Is it safer to have a heady opinion and keep our vulnerabilities to more intimate one-to-one contact?
    Yet the whole purpose of facebook is seemingly to replace intimacy. We are no longer truly connected.
I guess facebook is a place to arrange meet ups but do they happen.
     Staying connected is great but not at the expense of true connection.

Friday, 22 August 2014

Wild man talking: connecting to our amazing self

Wild man talking: connecting to our amazing self:           I am still trying to come to terms with the death of Robin Williams. I cant believe that he is dead. He seems to have been part of...

connecting to our amazing self

          I am still trying to come to terms with the death of Robin Williams. I cant believe that he is dead. He seems to have been part of my life for ever. I have always looked forward to his next brilliant piece of work.
       I find myself feeling tearful and a little lost. It feels like a part of me is lost with him. This man touched my life with his crazy, vulnerability. He was able to show all of himself to the world without the world realising it. He was a true great. I guess this is part of the human condition......when we show ourselves and our amazing capabilities we also seem to share our vulnerable side as well.
    You know what? Why can't a man be both amazing and vulnerable? We can't be the white knight for all our lives, can we? And yet in showing my vulnerabilities I end up feeling too exposed and uncertain what others may think of me.
     Sometimes I feel so amazing and capable of absolutely anything and for those moments I feel so whole and more than. When I see others in their moments I feel so connected. We humans are so fantastic, amazing, full of gold. We need to shine more often. Let us be all that we can be......we owe it to ourselves and the rest of humanity.