Friday, 22 August 2014

Wild man talking: connecting to our amazing self

Wild man talking: connecting to our amazing self:           I am still trying to come to terms with the death of Robin Williams. I cant believe that he is dead. He seems to have been part of...

connecting to our amazing self

          I am still trying to come to terms with the death of Robin Williams. I cant believe that he is dead. He seems to have been part of my life for ever. I have always looked forward to his next brilliant piece of work.
       I find myself feeling tearful and a little lost. It feels like a part of me is lost with him. This man touched my life with his crazy, vulnerability. He was able to show all of himself to the world without the world realising it. He was a true great. I guess this is part of the human condition......when we show ourselves and our amazing capabilities we also seem to share our vulnerable side as well.
    You know what? Why can't a man be both amazing and vulnerable? We can't be the white knight for all our lives, can we? And yet in showing my vulnerabilities I end up feeling too exposed and uncertain what others may think of me.
     Sometimes I feel so amazing and capable of absolutely anything and for those moments I feel so whole and more than. When I see others in their moments I feel so connected. We humans are so fantastic, amazing, full of gold. We need to shine more often. Let us be all that we can be......we owe it to ourselves and the rest of humanity.

Sunday, 6 July 2014

Holding men to account

       Whoa......this is a biggy. During my trainings  I learnt how to hold myself to account for any broken agreements either with other men or with myself.
      This has been more challenging than I first felt. Not only do I have to consider what I am prepared to commit to doing but I also have to not simply apologise if I fail to keep my agreement but I also have to speak about what I found more important than honouring my agreement. This keeps commitment and agreement not only real but very live. Also the challenge is not to hide from agreements but to throw myself into them and stretch myself with accountability issues where relevant.
      When I am with my male friends within the mens circles I feel so connected and also very challenged.....almost as if they can see into my soul and my darkest corners. And yet all my darkness and vulnerabilities are welcome within the circle. Once men have this way of being then trust becomes less of a problem.
     I feel this way of being helps to keep me honest and in integrity. Maybe if we could be like this as people of the world there would be less 'problems' as all responsibilities would be taken for any actions.
   I now bring that way of being into my life fully and it has improved all my relationships especially with my partner and her two sons.......Much more healthy.
   

Sunday, 1 June 2014

Mature masculine archetypes

I have just returned from a 'guts' workshop; working with the masculine archetypes. Diving down deep into my own psyche swimming around and finding much work to do.

I camped overnight outside Bradford on Avon. What a beautiful town and countryside. History lives well in this area. Ancestral energies abound. The camping was enjoyable being among nature in all its forms. I had the joys of snorers, farters and sleep talkers and shouters.......oh the joys of the human condition!
However waking with the birds on a beautiful day set me up for the work I needed to do.

The workshop was part of the work MKP uk offer. A chance for men to get a sense of who they are and how they would like to be in the world. How to work towards a more mature masculine way of being. this work is valuable to the whole community and I would recommend it to anyone who is impacted by immature aspects of masculinity.

I am feeling calm, tired, thoughtful and an inner sense of joy, sadness and willingness to integrate the work I have done.

I also met with some men who are all on their own journey and we shared  our stories, our vulnerabilities and our humanity. What a joy

Sunday, 25 May 2014

Loving your child within.

Sitting here on a rainy lazy Sunday feeling a mellow sense of joy. I had the pleasure, earlier in the week, of meeting up with a good friend and doing some work on our inner children. I have spent a lot of my live being ashamed of my own inner boy. I felt he was weak, ugly, unloveable and many other negative pictures. I felt held back by him and ashamed that he was part of me.
 How could I acknowledge that he was me and not crumble into that aspect of me which I considered irrelevant as an 'adult'.
 Over the years of therapy, inner work and personal development I have enjoyed a relationship with my child. I have held his hand, looked into his eyes and told him I love him. He is much more trusting now and feels able to be in the world as the beautiful person he is.
  I realise that the child within is not a separate being and I also know he is me. However the work and patience and time it has taken for me to accept who I am (who he is) has been challenging and a mystery.
I will never reject him nor abandon him again. We are one.......me
   

Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Wild man talking: We all need a pat on the back sometime.

Wild man talking: We all need a pat on the back sometime.: I have come to a really important realisation.........who are we if we don't get affirmation from family and friends? Due to my history...

We all need a pat on the back sometime.

I have come to a really important realisation.........who are we if we don't get affirmation from family and friends?
Due to my history I have no-one alive in my family who knows me. All my relatives are dead and the older family friends are also no longer here. So I have no long term shared history to place me in the world historically.
A pat on the back is a validation that we are ok. It gives us a sense of who we are and where we fit.
I have decided to have a ceremony at some point this year which will be to forgive my birth mum for giving me up for adoption, to celebrate the joy of being born, and to have an older male to give me the pat on the back for being who I am.
Unconditional positive regard also known as LOVE is so important to us all. It tells us that we are ok and not the bad guy we think we are. We are LOVEABLE.
The emotional work that I am doing with mens groups and MKP is helping me to feel grounded and fully present in the world. I feel that mens recognition of who I am is vitally important to me. I may not know my Birth Father and may never know him but if other men hold me in their hearts then that may be enough.
I feel blessed to know and have men in my life who have good loving hearts.
The world is a better place for these men.