I was physically unable to work for the months of November and December and the fallout has been immense. Being self employed has its ups and downs and this period was financially a down but emotionally an up.
I took the time to get to know myself better and to study the face in the mirror.......I like my reflection and feel happy to be me.
I am back to work full time with all this beautiful weather assisting me. Spring is bursting out all over and it is great.
However in the 2 months of layoff my finances took quite a hit.
I have now the joy of trying to balance my bank accounts daily to pay bills and I am struggling.
I really am the duck who looks serene on the surface but is paddling like hell to keep up. I am finding myself working hard and being very tired from my efforts but not moving forward monetarily. I am feeling lonely in this place and its hard.
I am fully committed to my family and me and wish I had the energy of youth.
The Government is saying that the economy is improving and signs of green shoots are true........so why is it so bloody hard to put food on the table and to pay the bills?
If intent were a commodity I would be rich but.....
Something has to change.
My warrior will not be broken.
How do we create a community of mature adults who have the skills to bring about our own silent revolution?
Wednesday 26 March 2014
Friday 21 March 2014
changing reactions to positive actions
I have been struggling with the ups and downs of life.
Work life balance, financial shortfalls, relationships.
As I work on being more present, aware, open, I find that old default positions don't work any more. How I dealt with things in the past now don't fit for me and so I have had to reposition my responses.
I have tried new responses and I am happy with how things are going. I feel more mature, more available and aware. More alive.........
I have just read a posting by the Mankind Project which talks about Intentional Awareness and I really love the concept.
During my counselling training, the relationship was highlighted as the factor for change with our clients. I am finding this to be continually true. Not simply with clients but in life itself.
I suppose the challenge is, that when someone reflects back to me my behavior particularly my partner, I have a choice as to whether to meet the challenge or ignore it. Life never seems to be stable/normal when I accept the challenge to change.
To be fully present and aware is thrilling, life enhancing but also tiring. Phew!
Work life balance, financial shortfalls, relationships.
As I work on being more present, aware, open, I find that old default positions don't work any more. How I dealt with things in the past now don't fit for me and so I have had to reposition my responses.
I have tried new responses and I am happy with how things are going. I feel more mature, more available and aware. More alive.........
I have just read a posting by the Mankind Project which talks about Intentional Awareness and I really love the concept.
During my counselling training, the relationship was highlighted as the factor for change with our clients. I am finding this to be continually true. Not simply with clients but in life itself.
I suppose the challenge is, that when someone reflects back to me my behavior particularly my partner, I have a choice as to whether to meet the challenge or ignore it. Life never seems to be stable/normal when I accept the challenge to change.
To be fully present and aware is thrilling, life enhancing but also tiring. Phew!
Sunday 16 March 2014
Wild man talking: The toxicity of immaturity
Wild man talking: The toxicity of immaturity: Quite a heavy title and I am sorry if it is off putting but when adults conduct themselves as children in the world of parenting then the ou...
The toxicity of immaturity
Quite a heavy title and I am sorry if it is off putting but when adults conduct themselves as children in the world of parenting then the outcome can be pretty toxic for all involved.
Sexual abuse, Physical abuse, Psychological abuse, Rage can all be psychologically immature responses in life. I appreciate that there may also be mental health issues which will also impact and hopefully help can be found for those with additional mental health issues.
As I have shared previously.....my baby rage has had a lasting effect on me throughout my life in terms of poor relationships with lovers, family and friends. Not engaging as an adult until recently has cost me dearly.
In fact I believe that had I not done some deep emotional work to clear my baby rage, as I now know it to be, then my current relationship would have ended.
So, how do we interrupt this ancestral cycle of immature parenting?
Somehow as a society we have to acknowledge the issue and introduce emotional intelligence as a subject into education. Self awareness, mindfulness, and other therapeutic interventions need to be given space and time.
I realise that this idea may not have an immediate and obvious impact and be measurable in terms of educational qualifications but with time and commitment we may well help to create a more wholesome society.
The idea of a Big Society is a sound one if it weren't based on capitalistic ideals. It all about relationships both with ourselves and others.
There is an organisation...Place 2 Be which is heavily involved in school therapeutic services. I believe we need more involvement both through professionals and also the elders of our society. Where are the wise men and women who can help to heal the past and shape the future?
We as the grownups need to begin to live life in the now and work to shed the impact of our past which shades the way we live.
Sexual abuse, Physical abuse, Psychological abuse, Rage can all be psychologically immature responses in life. I appreciate that there may also be mental health issues which will also impact and hopefully help can be found for those with additional mental health issues.
As I have shared previously.....my baby rage has had a lasting effect on me throughout my life in terms of poor relationships with lovers, family and friends. Not engaging as an adult until recently has cost me dearly.
In fact I believe that had I not done some deep emotional work to clear my baby rage, as I now know it to be, then my current relationship would have ended.
So, how do we interrupt this ancestral cycle of immature parenting?
Somehow as a society we have to acknowledge the issue and introduce emotional intelligence as a subject into education. Self awareness, mindfulness, and other therapeutic interventions need to be given space and time.
I realise that this idea may not have an immediate and obvious impact and be measurable in terms of educational qualifications but with time and commitment we may well help to create a more wholesome society.
The idea of a Big Society is a sound one if it weren't based on capitalistic ideals. It all about relationships both with ourselves and others.
There is an organisation...Place 2 Be which is heavily involved in school therapeutic services. I believe we need more involvement both through professionals and also the elders of our society. Where are the wise men and women who can help to heal the past and shape the future?
We as the grownups need to begin to live life in the now and work to shed the impact of our past which shades the way we live.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)