Engage heart before opening mouth

What is the answer to the rising rate of male suicide?

How can society engender male emotional connection?

Why are men unable to ask for help?

I realise that our world has been dominated by male energy in both beneficent and malevolent ways. I am so fed up of acknowledging the problems of patriarchy and seemingly having to apologies for being a man.

I am a man and I am proud to be me.  

I am on my journey to authenticity and congruence and my mission is:  I create a world of passion and authenticity by being awake, alive and in my heart. 

What is your mission?

I am trying to remember how life was for me before my breakdown......it was a lonely,isolated and fearful place. 

This role of being a man was tough for me. Alongside the societal pressures of breadwinner, troubleshooter, there were the pressures of being a good husband, good employer, all round acceptable guy.

I didn't have a problem being those things but it felt like an act, a pretense.

I have come a long way since and feel more connected to my true self than ever. I feel that I can be me and yet I still feel pressures to conform to a previous default.I know this is my perception but it can be seductive

The Doing not the Being.

Is it the Being that society has a problem with? How would it be if we all woke up and accepted our authentic selves?

Men need to understand that it is OK to cry, to not get it right, not be right all the time, to ask for help,  to be human but who is going to start the ball rolling? Who's job is it?

I believe that it is the responsibility of both men and women to support each other with honesty and integrity. To love and support without judgement or projection.

It is not an intellectual exercise but a heart felt action.

I would offer that it is time to engage our hearts before we open our mouths.

Chemical swirl

The power of silence

How often do we take the time to be in silence?
For many people of all ages and other differences the mere thought of silence is too much. Too overwhelming to contemplate.
What is it within silence that creates such fear?
Without external interference then we have no choice but to listen to ourselves. To have to pay attention to all our insecurities, fears, feelings and emotions. The 'noise' of our internal landscape can be deafening.
Far better to be busy in our heads listening or doing than feeling exposed and vulnerable to how we feel about ourselves.

This disconnection from our heart  feels safer and yet it is slowly killing us.

I love spending time with myself. In my role as a gardener I get many chances on most days to be with myself and to hear and check out how I am. Some days I have my radio on and on those days I know that I am wanting distraction from my feelings including my feelings of loneliness, for gardening can be a solitary occupation.

Any time I use electronic media then I know I am avoiding something internal. I don't give myself a hard time about this but the awareness helps me to make sense of what is going on.

When I am fully in the moment, then I have no need of extractions, for connection to what I am doing is enough. I have no wish to have my attention anywhere but what I am doing. Being in the now takes practice for it can be exhausting until it becomes my default. If I need alternative distraction then I am disconnecting from nowness.

A friend gave me a you tube connection to a man called Braco. He is a beautiful person who has a gaze which can touch a persons heart and make it seem like anything is possible.

I believe that when we are able to fully be present all the time then we all have the power to offer this to each other and ourselves.
In connection we rock, and that is with internal music. The joy of living.

So.....this Love thing?

So, this Love thing.......................
If I choose to love myself then I will willingly take responsibility for my actions for I am awake and living my own life. My heart is connected and warm life giving blood is coursing through my body. My mind is active and my limbs have a fluidity of movement.
I will connect with you and know you are love too.
I laugh, I smile, I love, I connect, I see me, I see you, I love you, I love me.
WOW!
Say those words out loud. Feel their power, their restorative nature.
The truth is that we were born that way.

Irrespective of how our minds have corrupted these feelings, they are still our fundamental default.

We may be scared of connecting with these feelings.....WHY?

Because somewhere, somehow we have learned  a belief that it is not true.

IN TRUTH we are not lovable,  not good enough, not wanted,

Whose truth is that? Where did we learn that?

We learnt this quite possible at our conception and there have been messages right through our lives to keep us from experiencing and connecting with our true essence.

We have been literally brainwashed into believing that the world is a scary place. That to love is to get hurt. To fear is the safest place. Stay locked away and disconnected both from self and others.

The famous warlords knew that to divide or disconnect was the way to conquer and society continues this plan. Whilst we fear life the we will not question the truth of it. We will do as we are told and never shake the tree.

To find love for ourselves and ultimately to remember that as we are all love then there is not space for fear in this physical world.

Courage is required to break the stranglehold of fear. Risk being a fool for love....no. Risk being all that we can be.

We are not well served by small minded fearful beliefs.

What right have we to deny who we truly are?

It is time to take full responsibility for all our actions, responses and thoughts.

I Love You

Wild man talking: The power of our belief systems and The Power of C...

Wild man talking: The power of our belief systems and The Power of C...: I have had an amazing journey during the past 6 weeks. I have come to the understanding in a very real way how our traumas of childhood sha...

The power of our belief systems and The Power of Clearing

I have had an amazing journey during the past 6 weeks.
I have come to the understanding in a very real way how our traumas of childhood shape our adult lives and create the life we believe we deserve.
Seems simple, I know, but for me it is my truth.
I have had the joy and pleasure of meeting my authentic self at last and I love me.

I have always believed that my birth mother couldn't wait to give me away and get on with her life. That she didn't want to keep me and love me. I was unloved and unlovable, not allowed to have what I wanted.

This belief has affected all of my life. I felt disconnected with myself and anyone who thought I was in relationship with. I always wanted children but I was unaware of why. I believed that it was to give the child the love I didn't believe I got. What I now realise is that I wanted a child to heal my pain and to receive the unconditional love from the child. How harmful would that be for any child?
I married a woman who didn't want children and my belief was that I could change her mind. This didn't happen during the course of 29 years and in the end I left the marriage a resentful man. The fault did not lie with my ex wife for she was constant in her decision. And I have come to realise that I set this woman up to fail. My belief was that I couldn't have what I wanted and so I stayed with her for 29 years to prove it to myself thus damaging us both in the process. I do realise that she had her own decisions within the relationship but at last I can own mine.
My businesses crashed as did I because my foundation stones were built on shifting sands.
My traumas at 6 weeks old have shaped my life.

I have recently attended some training in the USA led by Sandy Levey-Lunden called The Power of Clearing. A tool which can help shift our false belief systems and allow us to forgive ourselves for believing them and forgive ourselves for forgetting that we are innocent, whole, complete and beautiful. that we are all truly connected  and are love itself.

Sandy is an amazing person who formed this tool into something powerful and simple. Clearing is as effective as you choose it to be. The more present you are then the more effective and you can clear as often as you feel, as life does throw triggers at us to challenge and create insecurity.

I have cleared my beliefs around money, sex, time, love, women and there is more to do. My world feels brighter, bigger and more complete. I have been able to write a letter to my birth mother asking to meet, to my ex wife asking to meet and take my responsibility for my actions.

There remained an edge to my struggle. A non verbal remnant which was a persistent little bugger, which didn't want to be cleared. I had chance of some re-birthing work whilst at the training. The last edge was on  of not trusting anyone particularly my birth mum and also myself that I wouldn't be ok.
Jonathan took me through the process with such love and care. I was able to be re-born, to vocalise my baby feelings to the point of exhaustion. As I sat in the after process I realised that the fight I had to be born was due, not to my mum's shame about me but because she knew that once I was in the world then I was going to be taken from her. She loved me and probably still does. I am lovable and I am loved and this realisation has allowed me to drop my mistrust of everything, let go of my need to control and live in 'The Now'.

This is a whole new world to me and I am slowly acclimatising.   Brilliant.

And I am now trained in the Power of Clearing and so can offer this to anyone who feels ready to do the work.
Check me out at www.wildmantalking.com

Wild man talking: International Men's Day.....You are having a laugh...

Wild man talking: International Men's Day.....You are having a laugh...: I wonder what it will take for men to take their emotional and psychological health seriously?      Myself and two other men created a spa...